Date: 10/10/2008 9:17:00 AM
From Authorid: 23075
Grandparents have rights too. You could take him to court for visitation.  |
Date: 10/10/2008 9:27:00 AM
From Authorid: 21903
To SOME degree, I get where he is coming from with not wanting to bring the baby over. My dad is a HEAVY smoker and one day when I have a baby, I have to worry about what her lungs are being exposed to regardless of how it might smell. That being said, I see where you are coming from completely. I don’t understand why you aren’t allowed to GO see the baby! Just seems hurtful to say, “you’re a smoker, I’m not coming over and ALSO you can’t come here.” I am sorry this is happening to you right now, I wish I knew what to tell you about how to deal with/fix the situation. Hope you are able to convince him to let you come see the baby….OR maybe you could meet in public…go out to eat and to the park or something. I’d love to hear the excuse for that not being an option. *HUGS*  |
Date: 10/10/2008 9:29:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 15394
My thanks for your comments... My house is not smoked it by the way except the bedroom, and we have THREE air scrubbers and an exhaust fan... this is NOT a second hand smoke issue...  |
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Date: 10/10/2008 9:30:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 15394
As for meeting them in public... wow some relationship with my grandchild... I just dont' know, right now I am so hurt and angry, I'm stubborn... but we'll see what the future holds... |
Date: 10/10/2008 9:34:00 AM
From Authorid: 44960
If the place he lives is dirty and smelly, I'm not so sure that would be healthy for the child. Might want to place an anonymous phone call to DHR or the Heath Department and have them check it out. I truly hope things get batter and you can visit your Grandchild. I will keep you in my thoughts. (((Hugs))) *Spirit*  |
Date: 10/10/2008 9:49:00 AM
From Authorid: 12709
So, he can RAISE his daughter in a place that's "dirty and smelly," but she can't come VISIT your house? Like you said, there are filters in there and stuff. That's really stupid. -_-  |
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Date: 10/10/2008 9:53:00 AM ( Admin )
The more you push the more he is going to want to enforce the issue. He will come knocking when he want's help or needs a babysitter or who knows what. The point is, let him come to you and then you can make him agree to never do this again. Kids (as you know) make a mountain out of mole hill just to appear more adult. I'm sure it is all about him and what he thinks are good decisions until it comes time for him to need you. |
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Date: 10/10/2008 9:54:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 15394
Like I said, I don't understand... there must be something more here that I am not seeing... it is just an awful thing to do to me, and to Chloe... I would be a great gramma.... |
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Date: 10/10/2008 9:55:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 15394
Admin that is part of what I am so upset about... I feel used by him... I can't stand that... |
Date: 10/10/2008 9:59:00 AM
From Authorid: 64123
Awww hun, I'm so sorry. He's hurting both you and your grandaughter with his actions and I truly hope he comes around soon and you can begin bonding as you should be now. Lots of warm thoughts going your way, chin up.  |
Date: 10/10/2008 11:26:00 AM
From Authorid: 62901
I agree with Admin about taking a step back and letting him come to you. I know that will be the hardest thing to do, but that might be the only way. My co-worker is going through a very similar situation with her daughter and granddaughter. Her daughter is actually being mean and hurtful to her and not letting her see her granddaughter. Just a couple weeks ago they were supposed to meet at the park, they never showed. She sat there for 3 hours waiting to see her granddaughter. Then the day after her daughter emails her to stop calling them. So sad... I see how it hurts and affects her so I can only immagine the look on your face as you type this story. So sorry for you but be strong and just pray.  |
Date: 10/10/2008 12:09:00 PM
From Authorid: 62849
Maybe the girlfriend would bring the baby over? It seems that you've gone out of her way to help and comfort her... maybe she really wants you to see your granddaughter.  |
Date: 10/10/2008 12:34:00 PM
From Authorid: 15228
Sounds like to me the issue isn't the smoking in the home. If he were a mature adult he could ask you to simply not have any smoking in the home while the baby is there. Instead he doesn't ask this in a mature way, but leaves you guessing and I assume you find this out through a 3rd party. My bet is smoking isn't the problem, it's a control issue an extension of past differences.  |
Date: 10/10/2008 2:37:00 PM
From Authorid: 4144
sounds to me like he is using the baby to get what he wants from you. he's letting you do without seeing her knowing it's hurting you. i think you will soon find out what he wants. has he cleaned up his own home to make it fit for a baby?  |
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Date: 10/10/2008 3:27:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 15394
I don't know moma bug I have never been inside!! I do feel like this is some weird tactic to hurt me... I have been very very disapproving of his immoral and illegal behavior, but have told him while I cannot condone the behavior, I still love him... maybe he is mad because I don't just shine on his junk... I honestly don't know... |
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Date: 10/10/2008 4:21:00 PM
From Authorid: 64621
I'm so sorry J....sounds like he is making excuses. If you were the only one there for him he is just being mean! If you and his girlfriend get along maybe you can talk with her? It's her baby too. You deserve to see your granddaughter and sound like you would make a wonderful grandma! I hope you work it out with them. Karrie |
